|
Bring On The Cap
April 1, 2002
Story by: Justin Parsons
Let me tell you why every sports fan should
love the NFL; the New England Patriots won
the SuperBowl.
Just when I was ready to take all my sports
posters down, and burn my foam fingers,
the Pats pulled through and reminded me
why I love professional sports. Well, I
shouldn't go that far. The Pats reminded
me why I love the NFL.
The reason is simple. It's called the salary
cap. Simply put, this little economic god-send
prevents one team from having a 109 million-dollar
payroll, while another team struggles with
$24 million.
I'm sure anybody can guess who the club
that spends $109 million on their players
is. That's right, America's team: the New
York Yankees.
Just why are they America's team anyway?
Maybe it's because they are nothing more
than a microcosm of the entire economy.
Nevertheless, I am willing to bet that
not many people can guess who spends $24
million annually. That's because there are
a lot of teams that can't write blank checks
for their players. In fact, 21 of the 30
major league teams can't afford to spend
more than $75 million a year. So, if the
commissioner of baseball is pondering contraction,
perhaps he should start at the top.
But it's not fair to just pick on baseball.
After all, the league is in for severe economic
heartache over the next few years. Especially
when you consider that the second best team
in baseball actually lost money this year.
So instead, let's turn to hockey. The Detroit
Red Wings are currently 12 points better
than any other team in the NHL, and are
by far the favorite to win the Cup. Now,
here comes the big shocker… they have
the highest payroll. In fact, it's $7 million
dollars higher than any other team. That's
enough to sign Mario Lemieux or Curtis Joseph.
That's nearly half of the Minnesota Wilds
entire payroll. That's gross!
The answer seems as clear to me as Saving
Private Ryan for Best Picture. Let's put
a cap on baseball and hockey. It's the only
way to restore the parity and competition
that exists in the NFL. Wait a minute, Saving
Private Ryan didn't win best picture. I
don't know which oversight is worse.
But seriously, what other choice is there?
I mean, things are getting way out of hand.
You know it's time to pull out the big red
bankruptcy stamp when Rick Reed is making
almost $8 million a year. Who? Or when a
team is willing to pay Jeff Shaw over $6
million to throw balls, and I stress the
word balls.
My personal favorite is Mike Timlins' salary.
Yes, Jay fans, you remember the guy who
couldn't save a game at the Special Olympics.
Well, he is making $4.25 million a year.
Statistics and figures are usually about
as fun as linoleum. But when you use them
for pro sports purposes, they're actually
quite amusing.
Speaking of humor, a lot of us laughed when
the Patriots won the SuperBowl. But you
know what, I think it's terrific. Where
else, other than the NFL, will you see a
small market team win a championship? Where
else will you see six new teams make the
playoffs? Where else will you see a team
bench their best player for whining, and
still win it all? Where else will you see
a sixty year-old man covered in gatorade?
Well, you get my point.
I'm not even a Patriots fan. In fact, they
are my favorite team's division nemesis.
But I'm tired of watching crutch-ridden
David, versus steroid-popping Goliath in
other sports.
So please, MLB and NHL, for the love of
all things wholly, bring in the cap. Give
David some health care, and take away Goliath's
performance enhancing drugs.
|
